Standing at Ground Zero
Breaking the Silence
November 12, 2010
A few days ago while visiting the United States of America; I made a commitment to myself that I would visit the site of Ground Zero in Manhattan, New York. Ground Zero has been visited by many over the years, but for me, its impact has been felt in my life each and every day.
The following are thoughts and feelings that came to mind as I stood in front of the site in the cold with my sister in the dead of the night.
“As I stand here today in front of the site of Ground Zero in the dead of the night, listening to the sound of the silence and hearing the sound of the many cries and the deep sorrow that fill the vast darkness, I remember.
I remember all those who were affected on September 11, 2001 (9/11), their families, their friends and the many that were and still are affected by this tragedy even today.
I remember that morning all too well, walking into the office as I did each day I could feel a deep sense of loss in the air and could see the disconcerted looks towards me as I which was very different from the beaming smiles that I was used to…
I had no idea what was happening, until I noticed the Television screen that everyone was watching so attentively. It was at that moment I saw the 1st plane hit the tower and I felt sick to my stomach. My first thought “Please God do not let Muslims be behind this.” Why? Because I knew, that this would just further perpetuate the hate and negativity towards Muslims for years to come.
Unfortunately that is exactly what has happened and thus came the emergence of the term “Islamophobia”; the fear of Muslims and Islam globally. There are some even within the Muslim community that argue that Islamophobia does not exist; I disagree.
In my life, like for many others 9/11 has played a significant role in shaping my day to day interactions with myself and others within the Muslim Community and in Society at large. September 11 not only changed the course of history by affecting the victims of the tragedy and their families, it also problematized Muslims and racialized people that are guilty simply by association.
How so?
I remember walking out of my office building one night towards the parking lot and the look of 2 men walking in my direction and the terrified look on their faces as they saw me reach down to pull something out of my pocket, not sure what I was about to take out.
I remember walking into a department store looking for pure poison by Christian Dior and the disgust on the woman’s face, that she couldn’t believe I was asking her for poison as a Muslim woman….
I remember the people looking at me and my friends sitting in a coffee shop in the USA, and looking at the sign directly behind us, which said “If you see something, say something, call the anti-terrorist squad today”….
And I remember, the comments that were made by the man who said “You Muslims are being bad, I’ll show you what bad means…” before he tried to physically harm me in the middle of an apartment building corridor and I remember the silence from the hallway, where so many people heard but said nothing, nor opened their doors for me that day.
I remember the feeling of hatred and dismay towards myself, trying to understand why I had to experience what I did…
I remember … the sleepless nights, the fear and the sickness that took over my life for years their after and the small and difficult steps that I had to climb back out of the depths of despair.
I remember… I remember… I remember….the stories are endless and the feelings and looks continue even today…
And as I stand here today, I am leaving a part of myself here, the sorrow, the pain and the anger towards those who feel that they are following the Words of God almighty the divine….the divine manifests love and mercy, so how could this then be a part of him or his commandments?
And as I stand here today, I am reminded of how much resilience, faith and strength we have as individuals, as communities, as nations and as global citizens and how we must do our part to change the image of hate and the feelings of fear into love, mercy and compassion.
I am committed to living my life as a Muslim Hijabi Woman who will do her part to show people that I am a human being, a Muslim and a woman that advocates human rights for all and who walks the path of hope and happiness….
But I will never forget that my journey comes from one of pain and adversity and one that 9/11 has impacted and will be something I carry with me for all times.
Let us as a community work together to “Break the Silence” to share the stories of the unsung heroes and heroines that have survived this tragedy…albeit directly or indirectly.
And let us be grateful together by saying…
“Thank you God for the patience and the resilience you have given me and so many like me to continue to move forward even through all that we have felt, experienced and seen.”
Without you, there is nothing, without you I am nothing…
Humbly yours,
Farheen Khan, a Muslim, Canadian, Hijabi, Woman Survivor.
The following are thoughts and feelings that came to mind as I stood in front of the site in the cold with my sister in the dead of the night.
“As I stand here today in front of the site of Ground Zero in the dead of the night, listening to the sound of the silence and hearing the sound of the many cries and the deep sorrow that fill the vast darkness, I remember.
I remember all those who were affected on September 11, 2001 (9/11), their families, their friends and the many that were and still are affected by this tragedy even today.
I remember that morning all too well, walking into the office as I did each day I could feel a deep sense of loss in the air and could see the disconcerted looks towards me as I which was very different from the beaming smiles that I was used to…
I had no idea what was happening, until I noticed the Television screen that everyone was watching so attentively. It was at that moment I saw the 1st plane hit the tower and I felt sick to my stomach. My first thought “Please God do not let Muslims be behind this.” Why? Because I knew, that this would just further perpetuate the hate and negativity towards Muslims for years to come.
Unfortunately that is exactly what has happened and thus came the emergence of the term “Islamophobia”; the fear of Muslims and Islam globally. There are some even within the Muslim community that argue that Islamophobia does not exist; I disagree.
In my life, like for many others 9/11 has played a significant role in shaping my day to day interactions with myself and others within the Muslim Community and in Society at large. September 11 not only changed the course of history by affecting the victims of the tragedy and their families, it also problematized Muslims and racialized people that are guilty simply by association.
How so?
I remember walking out of my office building one night towards the parking lot and the look of 2 men walking in my direction and the terrified look on their faces as they saw me reach down to pull something out of my pocket, not sure what I was about to take out.
I remember walking into a department store looking for pure poison by Christian Dior and the disgust on the woman’s face, that she couldn’t believe I was asking her for poison as a Muslim woman….
I remember the people looking at me and my friends sitting in a coffee shop in the USA, and looking at the sign directly behind us, which said “If you see something, say something, call the anti-terrorist squad today”….
And I remember, the comments that were made by the man who said “You Muslims are being bad, I’ll show you what bad means…” before he tried to physically harm me in the middle of an apartment building corridor and I remember the silence from the hallway, where so many people heard but said nothing, nor opened their doors for me that day.
I remember the feeling of hatred and dismay towards myself, trying to understand why I had to experience what I did…
I remember … the sleepless nights, the fear and the sickness that took over my life for years their after and the small and difficult steps that I had to climb back out of the depths of despair.
I remember… I remember… I remember….the stories are endless and the feelings and looks continue even today…
And as I stand here today, I am leaving a part of myself here, the sorrow, the pain and the anger towards those who feel that they are following the Words of God almighty the divine….the divine manifests love and mercy, so how could this then be a part of him or his commandments?
And as I stand here today, I am reminded of how much resilience, faith and strength we have as individuals, as communities, as nations and as global citizens and how we must do our part to change the image of hate and the feelings of fear into love, mercy and compassion.
I am committed to living my life as a Muslim Hijabi Woman who will do her part to show people that I am a human being, a Muslim and a woman that advocates human rights for all and who walks the path of hope and happiness….
But I will never forget that my journey comes from one of pain and adversity and one that 9/11 has impacted and will be something I carry with me for all times.
Let us as a community work together to “Break the Silence” to share the stories of the unsung heroes and heroines that have survived this tragedy…albeit directly or indirectly.
And let us be grateful together by saying…
“Thank you God for the patience and the resilience you have given me and so many like me to continue to move forward even through all that we have felt, experienced and seen.”
Without you, there is nothing, without you I am nothing…
Humbly yours,
Farheen Khan, a Muslim, Canadian, Hijabi, Woman Survivor.
